Who asked for the Valentine?

9 February 2019

I’d gone to Walgreens Pharmacy to say hello to a cashier who’d become an acquaintance. She wasn’t there. Not wanting to waste the visit, I walked across the store to look for a puzzle magazine. On my way to the magazine rack, I passed three employees engrossed in conversation. I didn’t know these women, but I noticed one wore a name tag that identified her as Diane.

One of the other women asked, “Diane, did you buy yourself a Valentine?” Diane replied, “I bought a Valentine for my daughter. I would love to receive a Valentine, but I don’t want to buy one for myself.”

I fumbled through my purse as I walked back to Diane. I asked, “Who asked for the Valentine?” Diane looked embarrassed when she learned her part of the conversation had been overheard. She quietly replied, “I did.” I pulled from my purse one of the little bags of hearts I give to people and handed it to her while saying “Here you go, Diane.”

We spoke loving and appreciative words to each other, we hugged each other, and we left each other feeling better for the unexpected exchange of love.

Does your heart hurt because you don’t have a Valentine of your very own this year? Do you hold memories of something painful that happened to you on a previous Valentine’s Day or a previous Valentine’s Week? Do you feel alone in the world on a day in which we are supposed to celebrate love and togetherness?

If so, I’m right there with you. I’m writing this page on 9 February, the anniversary of the day my mother went into her final illness. I buried her on Valentine’s Day. 9 February and the days that follow have traditionally been difficult days for me. On this 9 February, I am still lit up with the memory of my time with Diane.

I launched The Love and Kindness Initiative a little over three months ago, during the first days after my cousin was murdered. I did this as a way of giving back to the people in my life whose presence makes our world a kinder and more loving place.

One of the most important things I’ve learned from launching The Love and Kindness Initiative is how hungry many people are for heartfelt connection with somebody, anybody. Many of us wait each day of our lives, hoping that someone will notice us. We listen to our loved ones sing the praises of others as we wait to be acknowledged as the valuable beings we are. We wait for phone calls that don’t come. We wait for emails that don’t come. We wait for visits that are promised but never happen.

We wait for love to find us.

My cousin’s murder woke me up from waiting for love to find me. I needed to do something positive, something that would bring people together in love during a divisive and violent moment that shocked the beating heart of the world. Saying “thank you” seemed like something I could do.

I thank people for being their glorious selves. In doing this, I’m celebrating the beautiful hearts of others, and I’m meeting beautiful people like Diane.

In doing this, I am helping to make my part of the world a more loving place. The people I meet are, in turn, helping to make their part of the world a more loving place by being their loving selves and by living their own versions of The Love and Kindness Initiative.

Does your heart want you to join with us? I hope it does.

This is how we change the world: one loving connection at a time.

Diane and I had a gorgeous moment together: two strangers brought together by a decision by one stranger to show love to another stranger. I may never see Diane again. If I do see her again, chances are good that she won’t recognize me. Our meeting was about bringing our shared love for humanity to one precious moment. If either of us chooses to bring love for each other or for humanity into a future precious moment, that would be a wonderful and unexpected bonus.

My heart told me to turn around on my way to the magazine rack, to dig through my purse to give that bag of hearts to Diane. I hadn’t planned on stopping at Walgreens that day, and I hadn’t planned on giving a bag of hearts to a stranger that day. Something I cannot identify made me tuck that bag into my purse in preparation for a sacred moment in which I could connect my heart with the heart of another. I’m so glad I listened!

For that one precious moment, Diane was my chance to show love and appreciation to someone else whose heart was hurting. Diane, bless her, gave me the opportunity to release me from my painful memories so that I could do something positive for someone else. From this 9 February forward, I will now choose to hold in my heart the memory of our meeting.

Who asked for the Valentine? If you pay attention to the expressions on the faces of strangers, if you pay attention to the words of your friends and family, you’ll soon find out that Diane isn’t the only one who asked for the Valentine. When you take the attention off your own sadness, when you take the attention off your own lack of a love partner, you can find a whole world of potential Valentines waiting for you to connect your heart with theirs.

Do you feel called to make a difference in the lives of others? You don’t need to give out little bags of hearts to create moments of genuine heart connection. You can really look at someone, someone whose life experience has taught them they are invisible. You can thank someone whose sweet presence is helping to make our world a more loving place. You can make that overdue phone call, send that heartfelt email, schedule that much-promised visit, extend that sincere apology, or do something for someone else because your heart says it’s the right thing to do.

And, if you’re like me, perhaps you’ll find your own moment of healing in offering love and connection to another.

Let’s do this together.

Copyright 2019 by Sheryl Hirsch-Kramer