The Highest Use of Passion: Shannon and Scott Peck of The Love Center
What is the highest use of passion?
My friend Jim Chin recently posted something on Facebook I am delighted to offer you.
You might remember Jim from a posting he allowed me to share with you in November of 2017. Jim recently celebrated his 71st birthday, twelve years after experiencing a major stroke. The doctors told Jim and Alice that around fifty percent of all marriages break up by the six month anniversary of one partner’s experiencing a major stroke. Instead, the love Jim and Alice share grows stronger each year.
We’ll get to Jim’s magnificent quote in a moment. It’s worth the wait.
A friend recently posted a meme on Facebook showing two people embracing with the caption, “Love should be passionate or not at all.” If the quote isn’t exact, it’s darned close. I have a very different understanding of what passion is and felt called to respond to his meme. I sent him a message, he sent me a response, and our spirited conversation inspired me, along with Jim’s quote, to write this blog.
We often think a passionate relationship is a loving relationship. After all, how can the strong feelings that come with feeling strong passion for another be anything less than a strong love, right?
Wrong. Very, very wrong.
Who hasn’t heard a partner say, “My feelings for you have changed?” Life changes every day, feelings are part of life, so feelings will change. It’s what we choose to do with the changed feelings that matters.
Hollywood has conditioned us to believe the ultimate success is perpetually living in a state of passionate infatuation we erroneously call love when we have joined with the perfect partner to turn us on. Life feels great, once we’ve struck a trade agreement in which we agree to meet each other’s needs for passion, romance and fantasy for as long as we can both avoid reality.
We’re infatuated with the feelings we feel and the stories we’ve made up about each other, not in love with the actual person. When the state of passionate infatuation wears off, as it always will, relationships often end if they’re not based on anything lasting, and it’s on to the next partner.
Passion lives to dance at The Festival of the Hormones. Love understands there is so much more to experience than the fleeting and selfish nature of even the strongest passion.
Don’t get me wrong, I love passion. I think it’s one of the greatest things ever. I’m not talking about the grabby passion one feels for a sexual partner.
I’m talking about the passion that motivates someone to truly and deeply partner, heart to heart, with another. That type of unselfish passion spurs us on to learn how to love someone the way they need to be loved and, in turn, to receive another’s healing love. That type of unselfish passion leads to true and lasting union.
Jim explains this so beautifully:
“Today As I celebrate my 71st birhday, I can reflect back on my life that the only regret I have is not forgiving certain OROPLE for their unjust actions and it took me so long that a young lady did not break my heart!
In 2965, I asked a fellow classmate toa winter dance.She invite me over to her home and played her new album Rubber ?Soul, over and over again as she attacked me physically, I mistaken this physical attraction as love, but it has taken this long time to realize that it was not love but just a n animal stint ! The sad part WEas that she went to the same university and ?I would see her walking by whole ?I was in my dorm room!
This really messed me Up and when I met Alice everything turned around for me because .i finally found true Love, Oh ?yes LifebIs ?Good!I wish to Thank everyone who have extended their Birthdsy wishes, ?Thank ?You sooooo Much for your Kindness and bring sogjoughtful!”
Alice is Jim’s caregiver, Jim’s beloved, Jim’s friend, and Jim’s cheerleader. Alice’s love helps Jim to live his highest life, and Jim’s love for Alice helps Alice to live her highest life. Jim and Alice share a beautiful passion for each other.
Thank you, Jim and Alice, for allowing us to view this precious part of your true love story.
I also love this quote:
“The Secret of Love is…giving pleasure to each other, and not demanding it. For true love is not desire. The stronger the passion, the greater its demands; and the stronger passion’s demands, the greater its emphasis on self-love. Not in passion, but in tenderness and kindness love finds its ideal expression.” J. Donald Walters
When we are kind to each other, when we are tender with each other, when we have made the shift from wanting what we want to continually choosing to do what’s best for another and what’s best for our relationship, we have opened the door to experiencing true love.
I felt this kind of passion when I cared for my mom during her final years. I felt this kind of passion when I cared for my dog during her final years.
We can choose to be tender and kind today. Will you bring your A game to the ones you love in your life so that love can find its ideal expression?
If you don’t know Scott and Shannon Peck, you can learn more about them and their work, along with the work of select others, on the new Transforming Through Love TTL Community page on www.TransformingThroughLove.com
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