Giving back to life in a transitional world? What’s the point of my doing that?
If the above question isn’t a question you normally ask yourself, maybe it’s time to consider your response.
Have you recently considered how you’re giving back to life?
Have you ever considered how you’re giving back to life?
We pay attention to our relationships in different ways at different times.
We pay attention to relationships when we meet someone or are wanting to meet someone. We sometimes ask ourselves what we need to do to “get” that person or any new person.
There are times we pay no attention to maintaining our relationships. Things feel good, now that we “got” that person. Why mess with a good thing?
And then there are times we pay attention to our relationships only when they are withering and dying from neglect. We didn’t realize we had to do anything to keep it going. What happened to the love? What do we need to do to “keep” that person and all the good feelings we now associate with having that person in our lives?
Sound familiar?
I ask you to consider the possibility that people show up in our lives as opportunities for us to give back to life. Not only are we in relationship with others, we are in relationship with all of life. When we view our relationships with others as opportunities to give back to life, magic happens.
Each one of us is in relationship with life all the time. The challenge for many of us is in remembering that. Are we taking the good things in our lives for granted? Are we choosing to continually nurture our relationship with life?
It’s up to us to decide to either consciously nurture our personal relationship with life each day or unconsciously allow life to happen to us each day.
As I continue growing The Love and Kindness Initiative, the movement I began after my cousin was killed in late October 2018, I am seeing how the little things we can do for each other can become big things in the lives of strangers.
I met a bagger named Frankie today at Whole Foods. Frankie is a young man with a gorgeous smile that lights up anyone who is willing to be lit up by a gorgeous smile. As soon as I saw that smile, I knew I needed to thank him for what he gives to all who meet him.
Here’s our conversation, beginning with my greeting him:
“How are you doing today?”
“I’m good, thanks, how are you?”
“I’m doing well, thanks for asking. I love your smile. Thank you so much for sharing your smile with me.”
Remember, life responds to what we give it. I was giving back to life through my thanking a delightful young man named Frankie.
Frankie’s smile got even bigger. I followed my intuition and pulled a bag of ten assorted heart beads from my purse.
“I knew I met you for a reason today. You have such a gorgeous smile. I give out little bags of assorted hearts to people like you, people who are helping the world transform through their smiles, people who understand the importance of greeting people the way you have greeted me. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong with life, I’m celebrating the people like you who make our world a better place. I hope you will accept this little gift.”
I handed Frankie the little bag of hearts, explaining The Love and Kindness Initiative to him.
I’ve given out many dozens, probably hundreds of little bags of hearts during the past few years, and I’ve given out many dozens, probably hundreds of heartfelt thank yous/apologies/compliments during the past four months.
If the recipients are appreciative, that’s cool. If they’re not appreciative, that’s cool. I am a Johnny Appleseed of Love. I know that not every seed I plant will take root and bloom, but knowing this isn’t going to stop me from scattering more seeds.
I didn’t know what Frankie would do with my gift. He said, “Thank you so much! This really means a lot to me.”
It’s not the first time I’ve heard this. It’s the first time I’ve heard what came next.
“I’ll tell you what I’m going to do. Do you like gemstones?”
You bet I do.
“Good! I collect gemstones. I’m going to go through my collection and choose a piece of quartz just for you. I’ll keep it with me and give it to you next time I see you in the store.”
Frankie was giving back to life through offering this precious gift to me. He didn’t just accept my gift. He wanted to do something for me that would light me up the way I’d lit him up. How cool is this!
I never give compliments, apologies, thanks or bags of hearts expecting to receive anything back. For me, being one of many Johnny Appleseeds of Love is its own reward. Like your choosing to read this post, I’m doing something positive and proactive in this moment of life instead of doing something negative and reactive.
Young Frankie chose to give back to life by offering this precious gift to me. Young Frankie understands that life is about the giving and the receiving. So many of us feel more comfortable as givers or as receivers. It’s important for us to learn how to routinely do the thing that feels less comfortable to us, to also become the givers if we are used to taking from others or to also become the receivers if we are used to giving to others.
Photographer Lehi Mendez of Project You and Me asks something that I hope will lead to an aha moment for you:
“What’s the formula that would give back to the subject, make it a consistent process; what could I give back to whatever I was photographing?” (from Kenny Bieber’s blog, ‘Focusing Your Inner Lens: What Lehi Mendez Taught me About Life’)
As Lehi takes his photos, he is simultaneously giving back to everyone he photographs. How beautiful is this!
Do you want to be one of those people who gives up on life because of all the ugliness in the world? I’ve met many of those people during the past few months and I’m seeing how my standing for love encourages the people I meet to also stand for love and take The Love and Kindness Initiative out to the world. Giving back to life instead of giving up on life helps many more people than we will ever know.
I know how powerful it is to be love in a world inhabited by people who don’t always treat us well. I know how powerful it is to be love to people and animals, especially those who are feeling scared and alone, and watch their lives transform. I know how powerful it is to be love and see the life force and the joy come back into peoples’ eyes.
You can do what I am doing. You can be love to those you know or those you meet. You can say thank you to the people with the gorgeous smiles. You can appreciate the strangers you meet and the loved ones who inhabit your world by saying you notice at least one of the good things they do in the world. You can feel good you did something to encourage someone to continue doing something they may not know they are doing that is helping others.
And you can reach a new level of awareness as you experience that giving back to life gives you all those good feelings you thought you could only get from someone else. When we know this, our relationships transform. The others in our lives will feel a new freedom that helps the love grow. They no longer are with us to be our personal filling stations. They feel appreciated and loved for who they are, not for what they give to us or what they do for us.
Don’t take my word for this. I invite you to try it yourself.
Why is this? Why do so many of our relationships suddenly become so much easier? We don’t have to do anything to “get” anyone or even “keep” anyone when we are love. When we are love, we treat people the way we want to be treated. When we routinely treat people with love, when we routinely treat people the way we want to be treated, things change. The right people for us somehow come closer and the wrong people for us somehow go away.
Don’t take my word for this. I invite you to try it yourself.
How are you giving back to life?
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