What do love and kindness have to do with celebrating the visible?

As one of the many Johnny Appleseeds of Love in The Love and Kindness Initiative, I look for opportunities each day to show love and kindness to others. Today’s post will, I hope, inspire you to join me in celebrating the wonderful people who are often overlooked, the people who aren’t always visible to others distracted by their busy lives.

My friend Pam tells a wonderful story about becoming visible.

When she was a young woman, she worked as a cashier in a convenience store. The employees wore uniforms made from fabrics dyed with the loudest colors imaginable. It didn’t matter that she wore a costume that any self respecting road flare would envy. Most of her customers never looked at her. Pam wasn’t visible to them.

One of her customers brought his boa constrictor to visit while Pam was working. We’re talking adult boa, maybe ten feet long. Pam happens to like snakes, so she asked if the boa’s human daddy would allow her to wear the boa for a while. He agreed. Pam wrapped the boa around her upper body while continuing to ring up her customers’ purchases. Thanks to the boa, Pam had suddenly become visible, and many of the customers engaged in conversation with her.

Hey, when was the last time you saw a cashier wearing a big snake?

A man bought something from Pam. He looked at her. He looked at her again. He said his friend, who was waiting for him in the truck, had just bought something from her but hadn’t mentioned anything unusual about the cashier. He brought the friend back into the store. The friend looked at Pam, still wearing the garish clothing and the live boa, and saw her for the first time. He really hadn’t noticed the cashier until his friend had him look.

We can also choose to notice people who aren’t wearing loud clothing and big snakes. Welcome to The Love and Kindness Initiative.

Pam knows about The Love and Kindness Initiative. The state of her health keeps her confined to her home, so she’s one of the people I call each week.

Pam has a great heart. She says I’ve inspired her to go into her studio, do some cleaning, and create handmade thank you notes to send to people she wants to thank. This is really big for her. She doesn’t breathe easily, so the enormous effort that will be needed for her to clean and create will be an act of great love. I’m so proud of her for wanting to do this. She understands the importance of noticing and appreciating others.

How about you? Do you understand the importance of noticing and appreciating others?

I made a decision many months ago to celebrate the people who are often overlooked, the people who aren’t always visible. I wasn’t visible during the first years of stroke recovery. I remember how it felt to be overlooked because I spoke and walked funny, looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and didn’t know how to do simple things like use a credit card machine. If I was seen at all, it rarely was through the eyes of love and kindness.

I’d had a stroke. Just like that, all the confidence I’d built up over decades of living had vanished. During a time when I most needed to be encouraged, I wasn’t visible to most other people, and I hated how it felt. I’m now uber visible, I’ve rebuilt much of that lost confidence, but I haven’t forgotten how it felt to not be seen.

People who work in service to others aren’t always visible, much less appreciated. They devote their lives to helping others, and they aren’t always treated with respect. They often become verbal punching bags for people having bad days. And many of them continue to choose to be kind to all they meet. They smile, they say “thank you,” they commit to bringing love and kindness to the world.

They are unsung healers.

Can you imagine how they might feel if a stranger or someone they don’t know by name shows up, gives them a compliment or a gift, and thanks them for all the good they do in the world?

I celebrate people who work as cashiers, people who work at deli counters, people who wrap fresh fish, people who bag groceries, people who work as janitors, people who work at gas stations, people who demonstrate products, people who serve food and beverages, and people who stock shelves with new merchandise. I celebrate many more people than those I’ve included in this short list, but I know your time is valuable. Let’s get on with the post.

I met a woman yesterday in a grocery store who gave me the opportunity to celebrate what she does in the world. She offered samples of cheese to passersby. She wore a birthday crown and a birthday sash as she distributed her samples.

She was older, possibly around my age. She seemed sweet. She was quiet, she was tired, and she wasn’t visible to many of the store’s customers, people leading busy lives who dash in and out of stores without thinking of or noticing those with whom they interact. I look for people to celebrate, and I might have missed seeing her if she hadn’t been wearing the crown and sash.

I know how it feels to not be visible. Stroke damage destroyed my confidence for a long time, and I learned not to make myself visible. People who live with temporary or permanent disabilities understand how it feels to be misunderstood, mocked, and ignored. I also know how it feels to seen only for what you do for others, not for the wonderful person you are.

I asked if she was celebrating her birthday. When she said she was, I pulled out a little bag of heart beads and gave it to her. I explained The Love and Kindness Initiative to her. I thanked her for what she is doing in the world, and I wished her a wonderful day and a greatly blessed year.

When I left her, she was smiling. She’d been seen and appreciated by a stranger, someone she’ll probably never see again. She’d been given a little gift to celebrate she’d been given the gift of beginning another year of life.

I know many people who decide they feel old when they reach a certain age. Belief systems can kick in, convincing some people they’re on the downward journey. When they feel old, they withdraw from others, they dim their light, and they feel their best days are behind them. They decide to become invisible.

I keep this in my heart when I speak with people of and beyond a certain age. When I do this, when I radiate gratitude, kindness, love and happiness instead of love’s opposite, others respond in kind. When I did this with the woman at the store, she suddenly radiated her own happiness, a gift that warmed everyone around her. She became the woman she might have been when she believed she was still in the game.

Sometimes it only takes one kind action from a stranger to change a life for the better. Would you like to be that stranger?

Saying “I see you” can seem like a little thing. Saying “Thank you” to someone you might never see again can seem like a little thing. Saying “I appreciate you for all the good you bring to the world” can seem like a little thing.

Or is it really a little thing?

I invite you to find out for yourself.

I hope you’ll join me in The Love and Kindness Initiative.

Let’s do this together.

Copyright 2019 by Sheryl Hirsch-Kramer. All rights reserved for further use.